Doctor’s Appt. & Updates

I was able to see our family doctor this afternoon, and it went very well. Our doctor is a very caring man, and is not the type with his hand on the door as soon as he walks in. He said he is treating me like he would with high blood pressure or lupus, as the symptoms are the same. My BP was high in the office – the highest it’s ever been for him, so he was concerned. He is starting me out on a Lasix – a water pill, to see if this reduces the swelling and pressure on my heart. Even when I laugh hard, I go into a coughing spell, which shows fluid build-up. In 3 weeks, I go back, and if this has helped, then continue with this longer. If not, he’d want to start me on a Lasix/Blood Pressure medication combination. I really hope & pray I can avoid the BP medication, as I know then it’s hard to get off. The other thing too that I know, and he said is I need to loose weight. The other thing too that I know, and he said is I need to lose weight – I hate to verbalize it here, but maybe some prayers for this will keep me going on doing this (accountability thing??). We had been looking for awhile for a treadmill and were able to get one at a very low cost that is practically new from our neighbors, along with a stair stepper, and weight machine (for the boys). I’ve been discouraged how outwinded I get just after a few minutes, and the doc was so encouraging with trying just for 3-4 minutes a day or even every other day, and building up. So, new goals. Just wish that chocolate would melt away pounds rather than putting them on.

Thanks for the recent e-mails and several have asked how we are doing. It again is one day at a time. I would say “better” but there is still so many firsts. Stephen started a new job at an automotive repair place and likes it. He gets 45 minutes for lunch so we met him on Monday for lunch. It was a good time with him and neat seeing his maturity. When Matthew started working we would meet him one or two times a week or take him a shake or special coffee drink. These were special times with him last summer – which we are thankful for. It brought back the memories of that when we met with Stephen, and later as we were grocery shopping Norm especially got teary-eyed remembering. The ache – yet the thankfulness for the memories and new memories we are making.

We have another BIG hurdle to get through – the 4th of July. Every year we have a family reunion at one of Norm’s aunts on a lake. The older kids usually go waterskiing or tubing. This was a big highlight of every year for Matthew. He was the one who just loved this. Last year with having his driver’s license, he was pushing to go much earlier, taking his brothers. We have sweet memories of this, and pictures that we treasure from last year and many previous years. It will be hard this year. The kids do want to go, but it’s the ache in these parent’s heart. We’ve had a lot of encouragement from family to go, and they know how hard it will be, which helps.

Norm’s job – puppy business and small engine repair has been slow. I think with the small engine repair (lawnmowers mostly) it’s slow because of the hot, hot weather, and there’s not as much lawn cutting – therefore less breakdowns. The automotive industry seems to be suffering still in Michigan with more major changes. This has been discouraging for him. But one day at a time. We are not behind in bills & are thankful for the time of healing together.

We know it’s not only a grieving time, but a growing time for us as well. This refining as gold is hard. I was listening to Dr. David Jeremiah on “Turning Point” on a Christian Radio station yesterday, and one statement he made (in reference to difficult times, including deaths) was “This is not the best life – but there’s a better one coming.” I looked up Turning Point’s webpage tonight, and found their devotional for today “just right” for today…

Not Sad! – June 29

If you loved Me, you would rejoice because . . .
“I am going to the Father.”
John 14:28

. . . Death can’t hold us in its grip when we know heaven awaits us. Jesus was speaking not only for himself but for His followers when He said that if we loved Him, we would be glad that He was going to His Father. We naturally want to hold our loved ones close to us for as long as possible, but the Bible says that going to be with Jesus is “far better” (Philippians 1:23). Even at death’s door, we sorrow not as those who have no hope.

Doctor’s Appt. & Updates

I was able to see our family doctor this afternoon, and it went very well. Our doctor is a very caring man, and is not the type with his hand on the door as soon as he walks in. He said he is treating me like he would with high blood pressure or lupus, as the symptoms are the same. My BP was high in the office – the highest it’s ever been for him, so he was concerned. He is starting me out on a Lasix – a water pill, to see if this reduces the swelling and pressure on my heart. Even when I laugh hard, I go into a coughing spell, which shows fluid build-up. In 3 weeks, I go back, and if this has helped, then continue with this longer. If not, he’d want to start me on a Lasix/Blood Pressure medication combination. I really hope & pray I can avoid the BP medication, as I know then it’s hard to get off. The other thing too that I know, and he said is I need to loose weight. The other thing too that I know, and he said is I need to lose weight – I hate to verbalize it here, but maybe some prayers for this will keep me going on doing this (accountability thing??). We had been looking for awhile for a treadmill and were able to get one at a very low cost that is practically new from our neighbors, along with a stair stepper, and weight machine (for the boys). I’ve been discouraged how outwinded I get just after a few minutes, and the doc was so encouraging with trying just for 3-4 minutes a day or even every other day, and building up. So, new goals. Just wish that chocolate would melt away pounds rather than putting them on.

Thanks for the recent e-mails and several have asked how we are doing. It again is one day at a time. I would say “better” but there is still so many firsts. Stephen started a new job at an automotive repair place and likes it. He gets 45 minutes for lunch so we met him on Monday for lunch. It was a good time with him and neat seeing his maturity. When Matthew started working we would meet him one or two times a week or take him a shake or special coffee drink. These were special times with him last summer – which we are thankful for. It brought back the memories of that when we met with Stephen, and later as we were grocery shopping Norm especially got teary-eyed remembering. The ache – yet the thankfulness for the memories and new memories we are making.

We have another BIG hurdle to get through – the 4th of July. Every year we have a family reunion at one of Norm’s aunts on a lake. The older kids usually go waterskiing or tubing. This was a big highlight of every year for Matthew. He was the one who just loved this. Last year with having his driver’s license, he was pushing to go much earlier, taking his brothers. We have sweet memories of this, and pictures that we treasure from last year and many previous years. It will be hard this year. The kids do want to go, but it’s the ache in these parent’s heart. We’ve had a lot of encouragement from family to go, and they know how hard it will be, which helps.

Norm’s job – puppy business and small engine repair has been slow. I think with the small engine repair (lawnmowers mostly) it’s slow because of the hot, hot weather, and there’s not as much lawn cutting – therefore less breakdowns. The automotive industry seems to be suffering still in Michigan with more major changes. This has been discouraging for him. But one day at a time. We are not behind in bills & are thankful for the time of healing together.

We know it’s not only a grieving time, but a growing time for us as well. This refining as gold is hard. I was listening to Dr. David Jeremiah on “Turning Point” on a Christian Radio station yesterday, and one statement he made (in reference to difficult times, including deaths) was “This is not the best life – but there’s a better one coming.” I looked up Turning Point’s webpage tonight, and found their devotional for today “just right” for today…

Not Sad! – June 29

If you loved Me, you would rejoice because . . .
“I am going to the Father.”
John 14:28

. . . Death can’t hold us in its grip when we know heaven awaits us. Jesus was speaking not only for himself but for His followers when He said that if we loved Him, we would be glad that He was going to His Father. We naturally want to hold our loved ones close to us for as long as possible, but the Bible says that going to be with Jesus is “far better” (Philippians 1:23). Even at death’s door, we sorrow not as those who have no hope.

Prayer Request . . .

Our Michigan weather has been in the low 90’s and very humid – so I don’t know if what I am dealing with healthwise is the weather or a major lupus flare-up. I took my blood pressure today, and it was quite high for me, 162/119. I use to have such low blood pressure that I could not give blood, but lupus can affect BP also. Anyway, we are trying to make a decision here, and see if we can either see our family doctor or Norm wants to take me to ER. I’ve been having a hard time breathing for awhile, but especially so today, and each night my ankles & feet are quite swollen. I’ve needed almost daily naps and still feel exhausted throughout the day. We have airconditioning, and I’ve been staying in out of the humidity as much as possible.

There was a good article in our paper the other day, which I found on-line on lupus by a Dr. Paul Donohue, called Lupus Can Be Treated. If you want to know more about this, it’s a simple one to read. But I have many of the symptoms, especially lately with the acky joints – wrists, ankles and feet mostly.

I don’t want to sound “woe is me” but would appreciate prayers and that this is nothing major, especially with affecting my heart. If I only could read one thing a day on the internet, this is oneblog that it would be narrowed down to that always touches me. It is Holy Experience, and today’s is about anxiety. Her words came at the right time – now to put it to practice.

And now presenting, Katie Rose!

Another dress & hat made . . . Katie sat by me almost the whole time telling me to “go faster.” She thinks I am “driving” the sewing machine, because of the peddle. LOL!

I fell in love with

I fell in love with this material at Walmart, and it was only $2 a yard – which is more than I generally spend on material! I like looking through their big table of $1 a yard bargains, but this was just too cute. It’s hard to see in the picture, but those green splotches are frogs. She loves her “froggie” dress and hat! It was a real simple pattern for the dress – only two pieces, and the hat is 12 of the same pieces – 6 for each side, so it can be reversible. It was fun to do. Now back to sewing. . . I also got some nice patriotic flag material for yes, $1 a yard!

Healing Rain by Michael W. Smith

Healing Rain by Michael W. Smith

Healing rain is coming down
It’s coming nearer to this old town
Rich and poor, weak and strong
It’s bringing mercy, it won’t be long

Healing rain is coming down
It’s coming closer to the lost and found
Tears of joy, and tears of shame
Are washed forever in Jesus’ name

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I’m not afraid
To be washed in Heaven’s rain

Lift your heads, let us return
To the mercy seat where time began
And in your eyes, I see the pain
Come soak this cry heart with healing rain

And only You, the Son of man
Can take a leper and let him stand
So lift your hands, they can be held
By someone greater, the great I Am

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I’m not afraid
To be washed in Heaven’s rain

To be washed in Heaven’s rain…

Healing rain is falling down
Healing rain is falling down
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid…

FRIDAY’S FEAST QUESTION 53

Appetizer
What time do you usually wake up each day? If you could choose your wake-up time, when would it be? Between 9 and 10 am. My husband has worked 2nd shift for many years, and with homeschooling, we have stayed on that schedule. I wish I could be more of an early bird, and wake up around 8 am, but I am such a night owl – we are rarely in bed before 2 am!

Soup
When was the last time you bought groceries? What store did you go to? Name 3 things you purchased. Today! We mainly shop at Meijers. I had to purchase some fruit for a bridal shower for tomorrow – so 3 things I purchased were mangoes, watermellon, and strawberries.

Salad
How many books have you read so far this year? Which was your favorite and why? I have probably read at least 10 books. My favorite was When I Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Ken This book was given to me after our son Matthew died. Though our stories are so different, it really gave me a perspective of letting go. We had dedicated Matthew to the Lord at a young age, and now we have “really” had to let go and know he is indeed safe with Jesus.

Main Course
What is something you consider to be very elegant? In particular, what about that item/place/person conjures up the feeling of elegance? I really don’t think of “elegant” things much, as we have a large family, and try to do things more “simple”. But my most elegant thing I can think of in the past, is a bitter sweet memory, when we had our own Thanksgiving, instead of going to family or friends. We got out the good china dishes and real silverware, the nice glass goblets and fancy serving dishes, along with a nice tablecloth. I don’t think I had ever used the good dishes with the children. We told the kids they all had to dress nice. They kept asking “why” and “who is coming over”. It was just our family. We took a picture of all the children at the table. Little did we realize, what a precious memory we made, and the last picture of our children together. It was elegant for us.

Dessert
Who taught you how to drive? I took driver’s ed in high school (but only drove in the school parking lot) but then never got my license until I was finished with my first year in college, around age 21. I lived with a family for the summer between the two years I was in college, and the dad of the family did ride with me some. But being I was over 18 I did not need to by law get a lot of time in (scary), and so I took the test – failed the first time because I did not yield enough at a yield sign, and then tried a week or so later, and passed.

GOOD NEWS ON JESSICA! \o/

We are exhausted, and so ready for bed and our sleep should be much more peaceful tonight. Jessica had a very good cardiology appointment today, thought it was all very long. She had to first go to the hospital and have an echocardiogram, which is an ultrasound of her heart. It was a new technician that did the echo, and at first we were wondering if he’d get the information that was needed. Last time it was also a new person, and so they don’t always get all the info the cardiologist needs. Both Norm & I saw his name tag that said “temp” so it made us a little leary. It was also the first time Jessica had a man do her echo (that she could remember – she had many when she was an infant). He called the cardiologist too, who usually comes up for part of the echo to see it. (Last time she could not). He spent almost an hour doing the echo (while Jessica watched a video). In the meantime the technician said that he was flown in from California to help out in pediatrics with the echos. He said he flies all over the country to hospitals that do NOT have a specific children’s echo technician, since this is his specialty. He has been doing the flying to other states for over 5 years, so we were assured we had someone pretty good here. The cardiologist did come to view some of it, gave some directions of more to look for. When the echo was done, an EKG was also done. We had enough time to get a quick bite, and then meet with the cardiologist.

Jessica was also weighed and measured, and had gained a little over a pound since her last visit 6 months ago. Dr. Goble listened quite a bit to her heard, and talked with us. The technician did get real good pictures and measurements, but there was one thing he did not get, and she did want that to confirm that everything was looking good and the same with Jessica. So, we did have to go back to the hospital and have him spend about 15 minutes more with Jessica. So, we were at the hospital & clinic from 11 – 3 with over an hour drive each way. We also took two of the younger ones and one of the twins, so we were quite tired by the time we got home!

Dr. Goble did call in the early evening to say that she got the additional pictures and readings and everything looks the same and Jessica has stayed remarkably stable. We had been told she’d need another surgery 3-5 years after she had her last surgery and it’s over 7 1/2 years! God is good! Dr. Goble said, “Just keep doing what you are doing“. PRAYING and MANY PRAYING FOR HER! Thank you!!!

I received several e-mails regarding what Jessica’s heart problems consist of – if she has holes in her heart. It’s quite a bit more than that – she has quite a list! Someone also mentioned some of the link’s on Jessica’s webpage don’t work regarding this, so here is some info regarding her heart, and are described on this webpage: Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV); Atrial Septal Defect (ASD), Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD), Tetralogy of Fallot (TOF), Atrioventricular Septal Defect (AV Canal) and Pulmonary Stenosis. To put it in very simple, non-medical terminology, Jessica was born without the walls in her heart – it was one open chamber. She had several holes in her heart. Her aortic valve was on the wrong side and she had several leaking valves. When they rebuilt her heart, gortex (what firefighter’s coats are made of) was used to make the walls. They made the walls “crooked” so that the aortic valve was not moved but now on the correct side of the wall. She has a pig valve and a man-made mechanical mitral valve. This mitral valve is rarely replaced in young children unless absolutely needed, and it indeed saved her life. She is on coumadin, a blood thinner, but has little problems with this. Both the valves are what eventually will need to be replaced. The “pig valve” is what we were told would need to be replaced first as it does not grow with the child, and will disinegrate – which for the most part has, but her heart has remarkably adapted to it. The mitral valve should last up to 10 years – which we were told would need to be replaced as she outgrows it. There is some leaking around it, but again, it does not seem to change from year to year and her body has adapted to it. This is what we hear “ticking”. If you put your head on her chest, you can hear the click of this valve opening and shutting.

When we were originally that one valve would last 3-5 years, and the other 10 years, I had prayed God would allow her to go the full 10 years without any surgery so that both could be replaced at the same time, for one less surgery to be done. Oh “me” of little faith! I did not expect it to happen! But we are indeed close to that mark! God certainly can allow this little girl who has lots of faith to keep her heart going good and strong without MAN’S interventions! Again, thanks for praying (don’t stop either – and lots of praise and thankfulness too!) \o/

My flesh and my heart faileth,

but God is the strength of my heart,

and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26

Busy Week . . .

It’s been a busy couple of days. Yesterday was Norm’s birthday, which was a pretty good day. The “blues” of the previous day had subsided, and we had a calm, normal day. The kids had fun waking him up, and bringing him breakfast in bed. We spent the evening with another family who has a daughter who also has a birthday on the same day.

Stephen, our oldest (18) went to out to drop off his resumes again. On Friday he got in the mail that he passed the state certification test for engine repair – so now he has this certification and brake certification! (Both these tests only taken one time each, which is unusual we have been told). He updated his resume and went back to many of the places he had already applied at. When he came home he handed Norm a gift card for a coffee shoppe we like to go to, and said he got a job! He was beaming! (Dad, I told him to call you, that you should not read it here first – but you know how kids are!). His first day was today. It is at a place that does a lot of various car repairs, tune-ups, oil changes and also does some small engine repair. He did a lot with oil changes, did most of a brake repair (and his boss said he did a good job, but should oil more other places) and also helped with a small engine repair of a garden tiller. He said his boss is very particular in keeping things very neat, and when any repairs or oil changes are done, the windows must be washed very well, with absolutely no bug smears! The guys he works with told him how he always has to be busy, even if there are no repairs – clean something! Norm said he’d go check out the place maybe tomorrow, and get an oil change!

Jessica has a cardiology appointment on Thursday, and we’d appreciate your prayers for her. This is something we have to do every six months. The last appointment she had was two days before Matthew died. Her cardiologist is a wonderful Christian woman doctor, who takes a lot of time with us, explains things well, wants the parents and child’s input in how “we” feel Jessica is doing. She will be having an echocardiogram (ultrasound of heart) at the hospital, and the cardiologist comes to do most of it. Then she goes back to the clinic for the rest of her exam, including an EKG and a lot of listening to her heart. She has an artificial mitral valve and when standing very close to her in a quiet room, you can hear her heart ticking. When she is falling asleep, she hears her own heart tick! Because she has this artificial mechanical valve, she also has to take coumadin, a blood thinner. This can make her more prone to bleeding, but thankfully in the 7 years she has been on this, we have had little problems. We test her blood thinning levels at home with a monitor that is similiar to what diabetics use. Overall Jessica has done remarkably very well. She had her first surgeries when she was 13 months old, and spent 10 weeks in ICU, which included another open heart surgery. After these surgeries, we were told she’d have to have surgery every 3-5 years, and we are now over 8 years postop! She is very petite, and does not put weight on very well, so this has been the main concern with her last couple of visits.

The waves continue. Norm had his tough day on Father’s Day. There weren’t really tears for me. Tonight Stephen brought me Matthew’s leather jacket and said it was too big for him, and he decided he did not want to keep it. (Shortly after he died, he had asked for it). Both Stephen & Matthew had each bought them at a garage sale. They were brand new, and of course, Matthew got a red one. These are more like “motorcycle” jackets. Stephen did wear it on Matthew’s birthday when we put his gravestone down. But today he just decided he did not want it. Norm did not think it was just because it did not fit, but probably bothered him some. Later, it just broke me down, holding that heavy leather weight, remembering the boyish part of him, so excited to get the jacket. I put it on, feeling the weight, and . . . well . . . the sobs just came. It’s strange how different things hit. Now the decision is what to do with this jacket. Does it hurt too much to keep? It’s a “material” thing that holds no eternal value . . . so, it’s one of these things to make a decision with.

The tears are over, and the rest of the night gone well. I’ve got some $1 a yard material to make the girls some matching outfits. It’s been awhile since I’ve done some sewing, and so we are taking over the kitchen table (picnics outside for a few days) and the girls and I will try to get these done in the next week. It’s so hard to find modest clothing, so, this helps to be able to make it.

Many thanks for all the nice e-mails and comments for our anniversary and Norm’s birthday. It meant so much.

Father’s Day 2005

I wanted to write a separate post for Father’s day as I put my thoughts together tonight. I am thankful for what a wonderful daddy Norm has been to our children. He has such a heart for them, to be “there” for them, to teach and train them according to God’s guidance. He has sacrificed a lot especially in the last two years to work hard being at home and here for us. As I look back, I know without a doubt how God has allowed so much to fall into place and memories made, with all the time Norm has been here. Some of the pictures I treasure the most is Norm holding a sleeping baby or holding a child on his lap.

Norm has also been a good example to me, of our Heavenly Father’s unconditional love and compassion for His children. It took me many years to realize Norm did love me for me, he was not just going to walk out of my life or make it miserable, but we would work through things. How blessed I’ve been.

If you have a chance, look at this wonderful tribute a pastor’s wife made of her husband. It’s quite touching.

I have “four dads“. I was adopted, so I have my adoptive dad. He has a beautiful singing voice, and loved to hear him sing at church for special music. One of my precious memories of him, was when he went away for a convention over Valentine’s Day to go to Israel, and sent me a card. There was a cartoon woman on the front saying “I am a person of very few words” and then you open it up and it said “I love you” all over both sides of the page. Now that might sound very strange that meaning so much, but there’s been an estrangement for over 20 years with my dad. We talk occassionally, but it’s strained. I pray for full reconciliation, and Norm and I have been so available to make this happen. If you think of this, pray for my dad’s heart to be melted and touched. He’s missing out on so much with his grandchildren. He had met Matthew, which I am very thankful for. If for some reason my dad sees this – you know I love you daddy and pray for you.

I also have my biological dad, though I don’t even know if he is still alive. Norm and I met my birth parents when our oldest was just a baby, so it’s probably been close to 18 years. Things did not “click” with differences in backgrounds, but am so thankful that I was able to thank my birth parents for life. It was neat for me to meet them, and I look more like my dad than mom. My dad is mostly Greek, so it was neat to find out some of my heritage.

I have been blessed with a wonderful father-in-law, I can call “dad” and is a part of our lives and our children’s lives. He has concern for us and our children, and Norm’s parents have been available to us through many ups and downs. They have been there shortly after each of our children’s births, held, cried and prayed over our stillborn daughter, golfed with our boys, and dad even picks out personal little gifts at times for the children and/or newborn baby (so mom does not get all the fun). Norm & his dad look so much a like and both have gentle spirits.

And last, but certainly not least, my Heavenly Father, who saved me, who gives me hope to continue, who gives me promises and eternal life to look forward to and gives me assurance that He will never leave me nor forsake me. Life might not be perfect, friends and even dads may fail us, but God never will. What hope we have.