Thankful Thursday

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” I Thessalonians 5:18 Thankful Thursday What I am, thankful for this week “Call upon Me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify Me.” Psalm 50:15 I am thankful for the bright sunshine today and the warm breeze that is finally warming up the outdoors. For MAKE-A-WISH that granted us with a wonderful trip to Disney several years ago and CONTINUES to grant wishes to ill children AND special outings throughout the years for all families. God’s provisions – more puppies coming in and Norm’s small engine repair business seems to be picking up. Links to other Thankful Thursday Posts Unicorn Child (“home” of ThT & code) Child of God Friday’s Child LadyBug Crossing Momma’sLife Nightingale No_Average_Girl Sting My Heart If you participate, leave your link in the comments and I’ll post it below. Click here for the Thankful Thursday code

No Attachment Included

Things can be so bittersweet. Daniel writes on his blog, Dear Elena, about his 7 year old daughter that went to heaven at the end of February. His words captured what we went through today:

The espresso machine isn’t working lately. I’ve been shopping for a new one. I’ve compared prices and features and have spent way too much time on the whole process. I may be stalling. You see, I’ve looked everywhere and no one sells one that includes Elena as an attachment to help me brew coffee in the morning.

Matthew loved to grill. This is one of the last pictures of him just a few months before he died. The grill has been falling apart for some time now – getting to the dangerous point. We couldn’t get rid of it last year. We too stalled. We have to junk it this year. Another piece gone.

We got a new grill today.

It did not include Matthew as an attachment to do our grilling.

Yet, it is another new beginning . . . bittersweet.

BOOK REVIEW: Lord, Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room

When is the last time you read a book (besides the Bible) that you know was God appointed, and just what you needed to read? I was given a book to review, and not anticipating it to be what “I” needed to hear. If you are just a mommy overwhelmed with the daily life of caring for your family, your home, your husband and everything else that is thrown at you, then this is the book for you! Lord, Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room, is a wonderful, encouraging book, by Barbara Curtis, mom to 12 children – ALL her own. Nine came to her biologically and 3 through adoption. Her 9th child was born with an “extra chromosome”, thus leading her and her husband to adopt three more children with Down’s Syndrome. The first page captured my heart:

“This book is about spending some time together sorting through the things that get in the way of finding joy in motherhood. It’s about getting real about the past and mistakes we’ve made . . . about seizing each day, squeezing every bit of joy from every peanut-butter-and-jelly-smeared moment, finding God in the hum of a washing machine or an unexpected bargain.”

Finding joy again . . . it’s what I need more of. I read on. My heart was already moved.

Her laundry room became her “prayer closet”. She was searching for where she could go to be alone with God and pray. She was asking God this while sorting through laundry, and God pressed it on her heart she IS praying, she IS having quiet time. It’s made me think of my laundry room. I think it will help me to look forward to doing my laundry more – praying for my children as I go through their clothes, and being thankful for quiet time there.

I could relate to so much – from a child arriving at church with no shoes on to leaving a child behind at church. She spoke of how we moms worry about perfection – worry about how we look, how our children behave (or don’t behave), and how we can pull ourselves down just in this thinking. With encouragement she says “we need to stop running from our worries and start running toward God. He’s the only one we can trust to accept us as we are – even when we can barely accept ourselves. He won’t push us aside to reach for the most perfect and spotless specimen behind. “

God has impressed on my heart a lot lately, the verse, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28). Sometimes this verse would really make me cringe, especially if someone would say this, that would not really know what we are going through. Barbara shared this verse too . . . and showed how good did come together, even from mistakes, sin, and pain. She is a “real” person, with “real” problems, and shares her heart, even when she was ready to give up and run away from it all. She did not come from a perfect upbringing, nor did she have a role model of a mother, and yet, she found the Lord as her Savior, and God showed her how even her mistakes can bring glory to Him. After she was saved, she found how the things she did wrong, God brought joy from it, starting out with her first child that was conceived before she was married, which made her and her husband commit to marriage, and eventually finding God. They don’t hide the date. It shows her how God was working with them from the very beginning.

Her writing is personal, and for a purpose – to encourage her readers. She really does care for them. She wishes she could take their hands and and say:

“May God bless your motherhood as He has mine. May He give you the courage to see your mistakes and the assurance that He can use every one of them to His advantage. May He give you a vision of the glory of your motherhood, so that even while doing the lowliest tasks, you will not forget the privilege of your calling.”

This has been my favorite read for this year, and I am very thankful to God for Barbara Curtis and sharing her life.

NOTE: As a Mind & Media Reviewer, I was not compensated for providing this review. I received this complimentary book in order to review it and am thankful for this opportunity.

Let’s Get Real Monday

Randi at “I Have to Say” encouraged bloggers to post pictures of their high school days. I have few pictures of my growing up years, but here are a couple from high school. Me at a graduation party
My sister (left); me right

Do you remember the different colored silk ribbons us gals would wear? I remember I had a slew of them that my mom made to interchange with different outfits. It was a big thing that year (1982). I remember this one that I am wearing. It was red with little black dots.

AWANA Boat Regatta

Our kids boats, all set to go!

Benjamin (with yellow flag over his face) watching his boat take off.
Katie & Melody with their boats. Katie’s won a 3rd place ribbon. Melody got a “sympathy” ribbon. Another kid felt bad for her and gave his to her.

Heather got 2nd place for her boat design.
Heidi got 2nd place in the boat race.

Bethany (almost 3!) & I did not go to the race. We slept in. Bethany has a cold. We’ve never had one of our children say this before because of a stuffy nose: “My nose doesn’t work”. Poor babe.

Manwich

I bought Manwich tonight. I haven’t bought Manwich in years – at least 4 or 5 years. We had “Me-Ma Joes” instead. Matthew hated Manwich Sloppy Joes. So, he made up his own recipe and would often make it. His big brother called him “Me-Ma” when he was little – thus, the name “Me-Ma Joes”. We still have been making “Me-Ma Joes”. But I saw the Manwhich tonight. I used to love Manwich sandwiches. Most of the kids didn’t even know what this was. It almost seemed like I was doing something bad buying this. Like, NOW we can eat this – before we couldn’t. We are doing better, but somethings like this sure strike us. Norm said again tonight, when will we go a day when something doesn’t hit us.

Last night Norm played our piano. He hasn’t played it much since Matthew died. I don’t think he realized it. But he just sat down, and began to play. Melody (5) came to me just sobbing. She said it reminded her of the funeral home music. (At the time, Norm was playing “Give Thanks, With a Joyful Heart” – so it wasn’t funeral music). Her little heart was breaking. She still misses her big brother so much. She asked some of the same questions she has before: “Why did he do that mommy? . . . Do you think he misses us too? . . . I remember how tall he was. Do you think he’s grown more?” We talked some about Matthew . . . and again and again, she tries to understand “that day”. Though she did not see him, she knows what happened, and she just cannot understand why. “Why would he do something that dumb?”. We’ve asked the same question, maybe everyday. So, we were talking about this, and I told Melody that she has to also forgive Matthew. I asked her if she ever had done that. She was quite thoughtful, and then said no. This morning she came to me and told me she prayed to Jesus and asked Him to forgive her and that she forgave Matthew. I thought that was real neat – that we did not have to remind her, and she did it on her own. That seemed so good for a little one of her age (and it was) BUT, then she said as she was praying she asked Jesus to let Matthew come back here just for a short time so we can talk to him. She asked me, “Do you think He will let him?” Oh, my heart. I see her hurting heart, just wanting to see Matthew one more time. I tried to tell her how busy Matthew is in heaven and maybe He is helping Jesus to get the mansions ready and when we get there, Matthew will have so much to show us. Melody then says “But I don’t know if I can wait that long.” I told her how Matthew has a job to do in heaven, but we have jobs to do here on earth and we have to finish our work first for Jesus here. She seemed content with that. For now. We shall see what she or one of the others comes up with later.

So, we continue . . . better, but as Norm said tonight, there’s always something that brings the sting of death, and the bittersweet memories, and lingering tears. This is another reason, we continue to share about the “choking game”. We don’t want other families to go through what we have or have siblings so hurt and not understanding. This week alone I’ve had 3 or 4 write to me that have just asked their children about it, including a mom who lives in Bermuda, and these kids knew about the “choking game.” Just as we wish we would have known before it was too late, be informed, share, talk to your kids.

Tomorrow for lunch it’s Manwich sandwiches . . . after the kid’s AWANA boat races. They have had fun these last several weeks making boats and being inventive. The older ones made boats for the younger ones. We’ve had the bathtub filled up numerous times to “try” their boats! Pictures later!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

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In Memory of My Mom

My mom died two years ago today. I got the call just a half hour before she died, from my childhood pastor. He told me she probably would not make it through the day. There were a lot of mixed feelings. I had prayed and hoped for a reconciliation with my mom for many, many years. It wasn’t going to happen. My husband and I were talking about trying to make it home (a 6 hour drive) to see if we could try to see her one more time before she died. We talked with the children. They even cried for a grandma they never got to know. We prayed together. I then nervously called the hospital, prepared for the rejection again. My sister answered my mom’s room. My mom had just died minutes before. Though we weren’t there in person, it was as though we were there. We think we may have even been praying, when my mom slipped away. I have been thankful for God’s timing, in preparing my heart, and to have been in thought of her, when she slipped away.

We went to the memorial service at the end of that week. My dad and sister knew we were coming. We brought three of our children with us – Matthew, Heidi, & Bethany. My dad had seen Matthew & Heidi before as little ones. He shook Matthew’s hand and told him what a firm handshake he had. He talked with his grandson for the first time. After the service Matthew told us he wished he could stay and talk to my dad more – maybe help him towards reconciliation – but most of all his heart was towards serving him – helping a lonely man with chores around his house – helping him open his pool in the spring -being a friend. It was something that touched me, that never came about.

Nine months later, my dad called me – a first in over 20 years – to express his sadness of the loss of our son – the grandson he met and stood beside. We’ve talked several times since. Though it’s not repaired, there’s been some healing.

I was disappointed that the song “Because He Lives” was not sung at my mom’s funeral. I remembered it as being her favorite song when I was growing up. When we were preparing Matthew’s memorial service, we just could not think or know what to do. Our pastor chose the songs. The song we all sang together with the guests was “Because He Lives”. Now, when I hear it, I think of my mom and Matthew. God certainly has a way of putting these little pieces together – like a pat on the hand – saying “I AM HERE – I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED”.

I grieved over the loss of my mom, and the mom I never had. I grieved over words that were never said – and words that were said. There were a lot of “if only” or “I wish I would have . . .” It was easy to beat myself up with that. My pastor from my childhood has stayed a part of our lives, and he encouraged me with this. My mom has forgiven. She does not hold bitterness and anger anymore. She does not have regrets anymore. And, she loves me. The day I enter heaven’s gate, she won’t turn away. And, if she could come back, she’d say, life is too short, mend relationships, forgive, laugh, reach out to those around you. Mom, I’ve forgiven you too. I love you too. Give Matthew & Angela a hug for me.

CANDACE JOY LEFT HOSPITAL TODAY!!!

We are are rejoicing with the Walsh family and especially for Candace as she left the hospital today to go HOME!!! Read their update and see the new pictures!

Poem – Suffering

SUFFERING

Am I all alone in this place?
For I have looked; yes I have sought You,

I have sought Your face.
I look within; and I bow in shame,
For once again my actions have denied Your sacred name.

In this dark storm I am tossed around.
As the waves hit me, I panic as I begin to cry out.
Lord I need You, I’m in agony!
My life is lost, as I cry and as I start to weep.

The Lord says to me; “Son, take my hand.
Don’t look down at the ground son,

don’t look down at the sinking sand.
I will rescue you, I will not leave.
All you need to do is hold onto Me in all your suffering.
Hold onto Me in all your suffering
Hold onto Me for I will never leave”.

By: Bill Scott (A special thank you to Bill for allowing me to use his poems on my website)