Homeschooling Overwhelming?

I‘ve been homeschooling for 14 years now, with another 14 years to go by the time our youngest graduates!  Even after all these years, I still have the fleeting of thoughts of how easy it would be to send the children down to the end of the driveway to be taken away by the big yellow bus.  I might actually be able to catch up on housework, laundry and have an uninterrupted phone conversation!  I can’t even imagine the kitchen counter staying clean for more than a couple of hours without the remains of some snack or prizes found outside for "show and tell" on the counter.  It is so easy to fall into pit of feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, and the interruptions of life that also interrupt homeschooling.  Just recently a homeschool mom wrote me the following note:

I’ve homeschooled my daughter 1st-3rd grade. This past year due to an unexpected move and various stress factors, we’ve acomplished very little in the way of school. We haven’t done any school work in the last..maybe three months. Part of me wants to quit. I don’t want to put her in public school, not sure we can afford private.I’ve enrolled her in this homeschool assistance program in the fall. She’ll go two days a week full time and they’ll plan her curriculm and give instruction. Then she’ll finish her work at home. I’ve signed her up to go into 3rd grade,though she should be going into 4th. She’ll be 10 on Oct 6th. My concern is she won’t even be able to handle 3rd grade because of being so behind in her reading ability. I’m planning on having her evaluated for dyslexia just as soon as I hear back from this place to make an appointment. I’m not sure if this is her issue. She does have some symptons.I really feel like I’ve failed her and I’m trying hard not to completly panic. I had planned on having her tutored June and July. Then the funds weren’t there and then I started thinking maybe it’s dyslexia and I’ve been trying to find a place to take her. UGH! Now it’s just about July.

I keep wondering if I should put her into school full time because she needs extra help or if I should stick with this homeshool assistance program. I don’t want her to be overwhelmed by it all. If she went to school full time it would be a big transition in and of itself without having to deal with being so far behind in her reading ability.

I am a Christian and I do feel like the homeschool asst. program was an answer to prayer. However, because we have experienced so much failure in the whole homeschool experience I at times question whether it was the right choice in the first place.

Any advice would deeply be appreciated. Thanks so much, Beth

Well, I certainly do not have the answers.  Yet, I know if God places on our hearts to homeschool, He has the answers, and I sensed she just needed the encouragment to keep going and she is NOT a failure.  Here is my response:

Thank you so much for writing, and I sure hope I can encourage you! Don’t give up on homeschooling. There is a book you might be able to find through your library called "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores. He is a teacher and believes formal education should not even begin until children are close to the 9 or 10 year old age.

I think you were wise in going with the 3rd grade assistance rather than the 4th grade. You can always move her ahead . . . it would be hard emotionally for her to go back a grade.

Part of homeschooling too is protecting our children’s hearts and minds. Homeschooling is not the escape for this, but helps. Putting your struggling child into a public school setting – you could lose her heart. I’d rather have my child behind a grade or two and keep their hearts.

The other wonderful advantage with homeschooling is we don’t have to go by grade. My children may be in different grades for different subjects. Sometimes we start a book all over (esp. Math). Sometimes we stop a book, and get something to help reinforce a concept they are working on. There are many free things even available on-line that you can print up.

As far as reading, it might just be finding what way your child learns. One of our sons did not learn to read until after he was 9 years old. I have mentioned the reading program before on my blog called Alpha Phonics. I used just the workbook for my older two boys. My 3rd son just did not catch on. Then we found the same reading program on CD. He learned SO quickly using the CD. It was seeing it – hearing it – and then typing it out. He was able to use his hands more. It "clicked" and it might just be a matter of finding what "clicks" for your daughter.

Thank you so much for writing. Do you mind if I share your question and this answer on my blog? I am sure other parents have the same question.

Her response of relief (of what God wanted her to be assured of)

Thank you Loni, I did need to hear that. I have read many books by the Moore’s. I’m holding onto those truths. Sometimes it just seems like everyone else is a "super homeschooler" and I feel very intimidated!

However, I know you’re right about her heart. That’s more important. I have to have faith and trust God to lead us in the right direction and not be so impatient. I heard a minister once say if you make a decision based on pressure, to primarily relieve pressure then your probably not being lead by the Lord. I keep thinking of that.

I really did need the encouragement and I thank you. Your welcome to share my question and your answer.   Thanks again and God bless. Beth

Let me say that homeschooling may not be for everyone, and I certainly do not want to come across as superior because we homeschool.  Yet, God has laid it on many parent’s hearts to home educate their children . . . yet that big yellow bus can look pretty inviting sometimes.  Then God reminds me . . .

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  Deuteronomy 6:5-7

THURSDAY’S CHILD: Meet Melodee

There is NO (NADA) way I would post my weight on my blog here.  Sorry – you can’t bribe me with ANYTHING.  (well . . .maybe 2 round trip tickets to Hawaii would work . . .but I don’t fear that too much in saying)  If this blog was just people I did not know reading this, I would – but I have "real life" friends and relatives reading this . . . so NOPE – you cannot find out!  You won’t even find my size listed here . . . but I do shop at plus size stores.  My wedding dress was a size 10.  Sighhhhh . . . A few pregnancies (10 full term pregnancies to be exact – including twins born the day before their due date), stress, and life in general . . . year by year the pounds have accumulated.  It’s been a struggle.  My husband never pesters me about it . . .though he probably should in a "nice" way occassionally.  He will help me in anyway though.  I’ve got a treadmill that needs dusting off (again).  I’ve got the pedometer that needs to be re-programed (again).  I have diet books stuck away.  It’s getting remotivated. . . and I might just be getting there.

Meet ClubMom blogger, Melodee, who writes for her blog, "The Amazing Shrinking Mom".  The day after Easter she stopped eating sugar, white flour, white rice, potatoes, high-fat dairy and high-fat meats. This woman is brave.  She publishes her actual – real weight . . . she shares her weigh-in weight at least once a week.  She shares her short-term and long term goals.  And, she is doing great! She has lost almost 30 pounds since Easter! (Persistence Pays Off!) If you are one that needs to lose weight – visit Melodee’s blog.  She shares very personally her struggles, her suggestions, books to read, and yes, you will laugh and cry with her!  Her links are great . . . including this one – "Ten Foods You Should NEVER Eat!"  Her very first post for ClubMom was "Hello. I’m Fat."   And, if you are not ready to lose weight, read her wisdom in "How to Get Fat in Ten Easy Steps". 

Thank you Melodee for your openness and encouragement you are giving to many!

WRITING WEDNESDAY WINNERS!

Blogger with the most referrals
Ann from Holy Experience

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ClubMom Winner
Melissa from The Lilting House

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Blogger "I Am From" Winner 
April from Salt for the Spirit

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BELOW ARE LISTED THE WINNING POEMS IN THEIR ENTIRETY

First,  a special thank you to Ann for helping me narrow it down to four finalists (listed below) and then to Nikki from Living in My Mind, who was one of the four finalists but had left a comment that she won previously with the same poem  and received a "Golden Keyboard" award from Mary at Owlhaven and did not want to be chosen as a winner.  Since both Ann & I did pick her as one of the finalists and then realized this, I asked her if she would choose the final winner and she was gracious to do so.  She had the hard task I did not want to have to do – choosing the final winner!  Thank you Nikki for doing this! 

Most of all, a BIG sincere thank you to all forty-three of you for sharing pieces of your lives – many joyous with glimpses of sorrow – many giving praise to God for their being, many bringing back memories for all of us.  THANK YOU.  These poems are your treasures.

The FOUR FINALISTS: 

Process

Salt for the Spirit

Among Women

Living In My Mind

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ClubMom Blogger "I Am From" Winner
Melissa from The Lilting House

I am from tumbleweeds,
from Wrangler jeans
and scuffed red sneakers.

I am from the new subdivision
where Denver’s ragged edge
petered out into prairie.
(Clean-lined, symmetrical,
it smelled like baked earth
and new carpeting.)

I am from buffalo grass,
from prairie dog holes chewed
right through the bike trail
beside the Cherokee oak.

I am from biscuits with chocolate gravy
and musical puns,
from Mema and Aunt Genie
and Missy-Merry-Molly.

I am from the sing-out-louds and the what-a-good-flavors.
I am from the-crusts-are-good-for-you and the stay-in-the-right-lanes.

I am from the Sunday morning bus
that took us girls to the Baptist church,
from plastic cups drained of grape juice
and stacked higher than our heads.

I am from Alamogordo where they tested the bombs,
from south Georgia where the soil is red
and jeweled lizards skitter up the brick.

I am from fried okra
and rocky road sheet cake
without the marshmallows
to make it too sweet.

From the time my sister hid
an Easter egg in my pink purse
that matched my shoes,
and then hid the purse.
From the crayons we melted
in our overhead light
casting rainbows
on the yellow walls,
from sunburns and freckles.

I am from the albums on Aunt Genie’s bottom shelf,
page after page of the Almand ears
sticking out like pot handles,
from my mother’s shy smile
between her grinning brothers and sisters,
from my looks-too-young-to-be-a-father daddy
standing in front of cargo planes that matched his fatigues.
I am from two kids in love,
three little girls in homemade bonnets,
meadowlarks singing their joy across the blue prairie of the sky.

Blogger "I Am From" Winner
April from Salt for the Spirit

I am from rolling farmland thick with the scent of fresh black earth,
heavy with the humidity of summer trapped in the cornfields,
lit with the light of Orion’s belt and the haze of the Milky Way.

I am from the fishing hill and walks to the creek,
the paper tree and new kittens hidden in hay,
a treehouse and dancing to Madonna’s oldest songs.

I am from brick buildings and ivy,
tall oaks and lilacs, leaf-catching and sorority serenades.

I am from yards of peonies, tulips, irises, roses, daylilies,
a crocus bow, lilacs and moonflowers,
spring beauties in April, and fire-red maples in the Fall.

I am from Main Street picnics,
patriotic parades, whiffle ball games,
bocce ball and jump-rope in the basement,
manger sets and New Year’s sleep-overs,
conversations and tea around the kitchen table.

I am from division and reconciliation,
fear and forgiveness, longing and love.

I am from conversations in the candlelight,
confessions at camp, and calling in the mountains.

I am from regret and redemption,
naivete and knowledge,
faltering and faith.

I am from long-houred returns, gleeful giggles,
complex scenarios and common dreams.

I am from thick glasses and a shaved head,
shy smiles and bold suggestions,
giddy acceptance, ever-deepening respect,
and overwhelming desire.

I am from whispered prayers and fervent hopes,
newborn cries and soft skin,
sparkling eyes and peals of laughter.

I am from my quiet Guide,
my prescient Listener,
my dawning Assurance,
the Gifter of all that I am,
all that I have been,
and all that I will ever wish to be.

Do you have maids?

WHEN I read historical stories and Scripture, I can become just a tad bit jealous to read of how women often had maids to help them with everything from cooking to teaching their children.  Most of the homeschooling moms I know, including myself, can at times feel alone in this venture of homeschooling.  The idea of having a nanny or a maid sometimes can sound luxiuriously appealing (my kids say though I’d want to clean before the maid came).  Yet, we have things that were not available in even 50 to 100 years ago, that can be our maids.  The microwave, dishwasher, washing machine & dryer are just a few of my maids.  I have homeschool maids also!  One of my favorite learning to read programs is both the workbook and computer version of AlphaPhonics.  You can easily use one or the other for teaching reading, but I use them both, to reinforce the other. 

My newest maid is a Fridge Phonics™ Magnetic Set made by Leap Frog.  It is a 4×3.5 magnetic letter  reader and comes with 26 colorful, easy -to -hold for young children, magnetic letters.  Just put a letter in the reader and the letter talks, sings and teaches letter names, letter sounds and learning songs. Or, you can just press the little musical button and hear the whole alphabet song.  Before our youngest turned three years old, she could say the whole alphabet and recognize many of the letters and give their sounds.  It also really helped reinforce the sounds and letter recognition for my 5 and 6 year old.

Do you have a favorite educational maid you use on a regular basis?  Please share below!

WRITING CONTEST – The FINAL FOUR

Ok . . . .Here we go . . .but I decided to not make it easy to figure out who the final four are.  Here are excerpts from each of their "I AM FROM POEMS".    These are in no particular order!  Around noon on Wednesday I will post the final winner! 

*** I am from a sense of expectation that I lost somewhere, from the voice of God that I used to hear oftener, from prayer times that were more gripping. I am from a cautious passion. I am from the uncharted journey and the God Who knows where I’m going

***I am from whispered prayers and fervent hopes, newborn cries and soft skin, sparkling eyes and peals of laughter. I am from my quiet Guide, my prescient Listener, my dawning Assurance, the Gifter of all that I am, all that I have been, and all that I will ever wish to be.

***I am from the fiery tempers that need to often seek forgiveness and the tender hearts with their tear soaked cheeks.  From tears of happiness, sorrow, love, and compassion.

***I am from the endless chasm of unknowing, a hunger of forever grasping for something just out of my reach, of details not shared this side of Heaven. Of four little girls who wonder why I stare into their faces so intently, searching for the details that claim blood relation.

WRITING CONTEST – Four Finalists Announced Tomorrow

Reading through forty-three "I Am From" poems, and getting glimpses of lives from around the country has been a special treat for Ann & I.  The poems have touched us.   Ann and I went through all the poems, and we each came up with six finalists.  Of those six finalists, four of them were the same on each of our lists!  We both chose the same ClubMom poem.  I am having another blogger pick one from the final four as the winner. 

No children’s poems were chosen for this contest.  There were so many good ones, yet with different age levels and abilities with writing,  I have decided next month to have the same poem done again, but this time JUST FOR KIDS.  Details will be given the first Wednesday in July.  So kids, don’t be disappointed – you did great!  And then more than one child per family/blog will be able to submit their poem (which was a disappointment for this contest with some families who wanted to enter more than one).

I have received so many nice e-mails thanking for this opportunity.  I appreciate what Melissa wrote after my bugging her to write!

I have to confess I resisted at first, because I’ve never enjoyed scripted writing exercises. But now that I’ve done it, I’m so glad I did. I’m glad for my children: they have a glimpse now of images from my childhood that I might not have remembered if I hadn’t been following this template. Now I’m hounding Scott to do it too. And how cool would it be for my own parents and his to take a stab at it—how my kids would treasure the portrait of their grandparents’ young lives!

Maybe we should have a contest sometime just from grandparents doing this?  Would we have any takers?  Could you get your parents to do this?  Let me know, and I may consider this as well!

So come back tomorrow tomorrow for the list of the final four and on Wednesday, the winners of the three categories will be posted! 

BOOK REVIEW: Divine

I was completely drawn into this book, Divine, by Karen Kingsbury and read it within two days – up way too late two nights in a row.  I have read many of Ms. Kingsbury’s books, and very much like her writings, but I think this one tops them all.  This story is a modern day look at the story of Mary Magdalene from the Bible.

The "Mary" in this story is Mary Madison who runs a shelter for abused women.  Mary Madison is a woman with a "past" and has found God as her Healer and shares with the women who come to her shelter how they can be redeemed as she was.  One particular woman comes to the shelter, Emma, who also comes from an abusive relationship and is being drawn back to that abusive situation.  Mary Madison shares her story – in detail, yet not too much of the dark stuff that leaves you feeling to creepy, to share with Emma, that there is a way out, there is a God who will care for her, and she does not need to look for love in all the wrong places.

This is not a book I would allow even my older teen girls to read.  I would recommend it to a mature adult, but for my girls to read it, would probably introduce them to things they are not aware of and do not need to be at this time.  The main scene I am thinking of is when Mary was being kept as a hostage and sold for use to other men.  In many ways it is heartbreaking to realize what many young women face and the life they get caught up in but I want to protect my girls from this vision.

Divine, published by Tyndale House Publishers, is a book that would be excellent to donate to a women’s shelters or a crisis pregnancy center or keep on hand for someone who is struggling with not understanding God’s love, to be able to know and understand that God forgives anyone for anything.  If you know of someone in an abusive situation or one that has been out of it, either way, this book may be very healing for them.

I give this book five stars.   

This book review is in participation with Active Christian Media.

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt: LOVE

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Photo Theme: LOVE
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From our wedding, 21 years ago this past week.

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If you have participated in the Saturday Scavenger Hunt,
be sure to leave a note below!

Next week’s theme:  Automobile(s)  

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THURSDAY’S CHILD – (on Friday) – MEET MARGARET

When we wonder if God really cares, how often do we reflect on the times God has taken care of the small things- and even things we may not have prayed for, yet we know it is a "God thing" and His hand was completely on making it happen. Do we still have the child-like faith, that God cares for the little things as well as the big things?  My children will often remind me of this, when we cannot find something or we need a puppy sale to go through to help pay a bill – and one of them will say, "Did you pray mommy?"  Sometimes my response may be – I will pray – and I am asked "well, can we pray RIGHT NOW?" 

I remember as a young wife what a blessing God bestowed on me with the birthdate of my child, amazed that God would answer my prayer for the exact date my first child would be born on.  My grandfather was an important part of my growing up years, having lived in my home since before I was born until he died when I was about 16 years old.  My oldest child’s due date was the end of March, but I prayed he’d be ten days late, to be born on my grandpa’s birthday.  This was my first pregnancy, and I don’t think I realized what I was praying for, going past a due date!  But those first pregnancies were much easier than the later ones!  My DH was also laid off from a job just a matter of a week or so before our son was due.  So added to my prayer was that hubby would have a new job before the baby was born.  And it all fell into place – and the desires of my  heart were more than met.  Our son was born late afternoon in April, on my grandpa’s birthday – just after my DH had been at his new job just a few days.  This was and still is pretty awesome to me, that God cared that much, even with something as the actual birthdate.

A few years ago DH and I decided to find a new church for our family to attend.  Several months previously I had met a pastor’s wife on-line on an e-mail list for large families.  We had chatted back and forth several times.  We learned more about the church and DH and I decided to visit the church that following Sunday.  In the meantime I spoke with a close friend of ours who was also looking for a new church, and told her what church we were going to visit, and her response back to me was "that is the church we were married in and the church we have been going to for the past two weeks".  It was amazing how God pulled the details of this together.  He led us both the same direction without us following one another.  We have been going to this church now for over 3 years. 

When life seems overwhelming and I wonder if God really cares – about the little things AND the big things, I look back and see how He directed in such unique ways – many times ways I never even prayed about or even imagined – then He MUST care so much about every detail.  I was reminded of this when I came upon Margaret’s blog, and her post she wrote, Finding God in the Small Stuff.  She shares how God provided windows and a specific print of material for curtains in such a unique way that saved them a lot of money.  If God cares about the little stuff – a birthdate, a lost shoe, windows and curtains, He certainly must care about the brokenhearted, marriages, the prodigal child(ren) (I am thinking my friend Angie) and ALL the details of our lives.

Though I was not able to post a "Thursday’s Child" on Thursday, I want to introduce you to Margaret and her blog, The Cappuccino Life.  I met her because of her submission to the Writing Contest, and have been enouraged as I read through several of her posts.  Thank you Margaret!

This is why . . .

The following is a post that I have been given persmission to share with you from Lauren’s blog, Created for His Glory.  This is why I have and will continue to share about our son Matthew’s death, as a result from the choking game.  Please read it in it’s entirety – and go to her blog to read the many comments she is receiving – parents who are finding out that their children are aware of this deadly game.

Do you know Loni of Joy in the Morning?

She’s recently become a member of the Family-Friendly Blogroll, so I’m not sure how many of you have already visited her. I actually came to know her, although not well enough as far as I’m concerned, last year. Her blog at that time was titled Journaling through the Valley, and what an incredibly deep valley Loni was walking through at that time, her sixteen-year-old son had recently gone to be with Jesus. Loni was doing whatever she could to make sure your child and mine did not leave their families behind at such a young age, as her Matthew.

The following post is one I wrote back in July of 2005. So many of my readers today have young children and I am reminded of how important it is to make sure that unsuspecting parent’s are aware of this immense danger.

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I was surfing the net the other night, following links that led me into diverse blog territory.

Yeah, I was spreading my wings a bit when I came upon this. This Memorial page, which is part of a blog entitled, Journaling Through The Valley, caught my attention and I began to read about a sixteen year old boy, from what seems to be a wonderful Christian family, who has recently gone to be with the Lord because of a game called “breath play.” Matthew’s story saddened me so.

I have two teenage boys who I know extremely well, we talk about everything. I knew that this game was not something they had ever been introduced to or, of course, I would have heard of it. So as worrisome as this game may be, I was more concerned for the family that was now dealing with a terrible loss. I read through the page and just as I was finished reading through some of the links from their page, my husband walked past the computer. I stopped him to talk about what I had just read. I’m sure it was the fact that eight youngsters had died from this game just within one fifty mile radius that made him call the boys into the room.

“Have you ever heard of a game called Breath Play?”

“No.”

“Um, no.”

“Are you sure? It has something to do with cutting off your air passage until you pass out.”

“Oh, is that the name of it?”

I was shocked to hear those words!

Both of the boys were already acquainted with it, although neither knew that it was considered a game or that it was intended as a way of getting a high. One of the boys from my older son’s Christian high school had tried to talk him into trying it. Niko is pretty level headed and told the boy it was stupid. But Kyle, my younger son, never the one to turn down a dare, had been talked into trying it by an older boy both of them play with quite frequently. I was devastated. How could this be?

We talk very often with each of our boys about their need to care for their body, which is the temple of God, and to keep it pure and unsullied. We talk about the evils of smoking, drugs, and pre-marital sex. It’s extremely frustrating to think there are things that we, as parents, are unaware of and thus unable to warn our children about.

I am so thankful that Loni had the strength and love for others in her heart to make this information available to the Internet world. Her blog was the catalyst to a very informative conversation that night, and I believe both of my boys will consider, what might seem like, silly suggestions from friends much more seriously now.

Thank you Loni, I’ll keep your family in my prayers.

Please read the many comments Lauren has received – including those who know others who have done this or died from it.  Please, again, talk to your children.